Scribbled in a notebook around 1.30am

FEBRUARY 10 04

Put something somewhere, it changes it.

 

Put 2 things together, it changes both.

 

Something, when it's gone, changes where it was forever.

 

The absence of something is felt just as much as its presence.

 

Fragments are more complete than a whole.

 

Fragments cannot be compromised by misunderstanding of a whole through incompletely grasping it.

 

There is a pattern in things that can be seen through incompleteness.

 

Although we cannot see the invisible, we are looking at it all the time.

 

A pause can be an entire life.

 

Meaning is temporary.

 

We are in touch with something extraordinary but cannot comprehend it. The closest I have ever come has resulted in spontaneous tears. They call it Grace, but I do not know what it is beyond the repetition of a pattern above all patterns.

 

There is nothing but the pattern. Small recognitions are useful but the big pattern does not need effort to solve.

 

The big pattern is best looked for in tiny things.

 

Fantastic other-wordly experiences may be delusions but nonetheless are a motif of extraordinary yearning, and so are real, if understood this way, and I mean real as experienced. The extraterrestrial is the extraterrestrial.

 

Delusions have had a greater impact on my life's course than consensus reality.

 

I will be judged by what is left, therefore I should destroy as much as I preserve to ensure what I leave is fragmentary.

 

It will always be an enigma, but glimpses come like the beginning of an extraordinary undertaking.

 

Look not at what is there, but at what is not there.

 

When you find what is missing you see what is really there.