The new bath

JUNE 23 03 – No wonder I've felt weirded out the past few days (my apologies to that young lady), just noticed I have Jupiter transiting my Uranus, slap bang on the solstice in fact. Was talking to Rikki on the phone tonight, she has my chart in her head, but she missed it this time. Well, she has a big bath stuck on her stairs that won't go in the bathroom and all she can hear is Bill grumbling: 'Fucking bathroom! Fuck this bath! Fuck fuck fuck! I hate this fucking bath!'

So I was telling her I just dunno what to write in this damn journal, and that I'm losing faith that anyone is actually reading it. Rikki says:

'I was going to write, but you've got like people with big political ideas and things writing.'

'Who?'

'Hakim for one, who Mischa thought was you. Hakim Bey.'

'Oh, I haven't heard from Hakim for ages, he's not into web stuff. Pity, I'd like to hear from him, I learnt a lot from him.'

'I learnt a lot from my sewing teacher tonight. How to do a pattern.'

That's what I like about Rikki, puts things into perspective.

I can hear on the phone in the background: 'Here's your tea… that fucking bath is driving me round the bend!'

Rikki whispers: 'I may have to go and talk about baths soon.'

They haven't been able to have a bath for six weeks. Got one delivered recently, too big.

'So anyway,' I say, 'give me an idea for something to write on.'

'Vocation! I want to hear all about vocation.'

'Vocation? That's a tricky one, from someone who's thinking about jacking it all in every few weeks. What's my vocation? Writing? Web design? The occult? Yijing? Yeah, well I suppose Yijing. Well I was writing about this in terms of living in a foreign country with a couple of prostitutes, that could be my vocation.'

('Fucking bath! Fuck this bath!')

'So anyway,' I say, 'this print-out of my year's transits from Solar Fire says: "You may currently feel like life is like a roller-coaster ride, full of surprising twists and turns which offer both fear and excitement. Something is compelling you – ['and I underlined this bit yonks ago'] – to take risks that you never thought your would. And woe betide anyone who stands in the way of your new-found push for freedom".'

'So what have you done lately?'

'Nothing! Apart from this website.'

And then I think, hmmm. There's all the stuff I never mention, there's all the stuff that I try to forget about, there's all the stuff I think oh-fuck-it about, there's all the thinking shit-man-when's-it-gonna-happen?

'Do you want something to happen?' says Rikki.

'Like when haven't I wanted something to happen?'

('Fuck this bath! I'll swing for this bath!')

'I have to go and talk about baths now. But vocation, something that makes you satisfied and you can earn money from…'

'That rules out most everything I do then. I wish I had one of those!'

'Well I'm going to make you a pair of trousers,' says Rikki, 'and a jacket, and you can wear them to those smart parties you go to and when people ask you who made your clothes you can say Rikki designed and made them and I'll get lots of orders.'

'Okay,' I said, 'that's a deal, so long as it's not something Sean would laugh at. Nothing purple okay?'

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