Liminal states
SEPTEMBER 03 03
Had a rather good Isle of Jura at the whisky pub in Holloway
Road, 'The Quays'. 5.30 in the morning, too late to get into a rant, need
to sleep, but it would probably be something to do with feeling like I'm
treading water waiting to bite off some major project. I miss that sense
of being involved in something all-consuming, but probably I shouldn't wait
for inspiration. Yet I don't want to choose the wrong thing either. Not
that I face a choice yet, except between things I don't especially feel
like doing right now. Still, I can't help wondering whether fate will reveal
its hand and show me what it is to be. Liminal states can be so lacklustre.
Sometimes necessary, as in hexagram 48/4 where the well is being lined,
but the difficulty is in knowing whether it isn't just habit, routine, that
keeps one from biting off something new. 
This
website encourages regular writing, yet it also feels like 'ticking over'
and perhaps that very ticking over prevents me from engaging with other
more major work. On the other hand, perhaps it is simply a matter of valuing
what I am doing right now more than I do. Oh hell, cup of blazing hot tea
and then to bed. I have Indian ink to seek out when I wake, and perhaps
sell some books on the finer points of Chinese grammar to fund a round or
two.
Just before bed, I consult the Lingqijing on this liminal state: trigraph #11, 'Talent Advancing' (above). Ah! Excellent couple of lines in the verse:
Do not sigh about the flower branches being few,
You must realize that the fruit will form later.
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