I stand upon the pinnacle of nothing I recognise

MARCH 31 05

Walking by the primary school today I caught myself thinking a thought it seemed I hadn't thought before, at least not in such a way as to feel realistically alien: 'I am an organism.' The words came to mind just like that, 'I am an organism.' And I thought of my leg getting suddenly severed in an accident and blood gushing out and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it and I became conscious of not merely being an organism but an incredibly complicated one in which functions operated on their own that I had no clue about. And that my purpose appeared to be mostly going from A to B and examining things.

A surly kid passed, I stared at him as if to say: 'I am an organism. I am a biological unit. Your fate and my fate are not our own.' But he walked on, eyes kept ahead, chewing a lolly stick and looking tough.