This effect I have on women

AUGUST 01 03

Last week I was talking to Rikki on the phone and she reminded me of when we first met in 1989 and she wanted me to teach her some occult stuff and a lightning flash had passed from my eyes into hers. And at the time I just told her, nonchalantly:

'Oh yeah, that happens sometimes. The lightning flash, yeah…'

Back then she was just starting out on her journey into the weird stuff. She'd contacted an astrologer and rune magus via his dodgy small-ad at the back of Prediction magazine. But she didn't want to wear the white robe he wanted her to put on, it probably all seemed just a little too kinky to a girl from the suburbs. Anyway, as a result of getting in contact with him she eventually ran into me. She met me at this old deconsecrated church called Foscot for a long weekend of getting up to no good with a group of occultists the dodgy geezer belonged to, they'd decided to invite me along after skinning up on KAOS 13. I'd written something in that issue about people doing just that and it amused them. KAOS was the happening thing in the world of the occult, and people often invited me along to their dodgy goings-on. I only went to the serious stuff though, that had a bit of an edge to it.

She tells me on the phone:

'You know you told me that happens sometimes? That lightning flash when you looked into my eyes? Well it never happened again at all. You were telling a porky-pie.'

I laugh a Mutley kind of laugh.

There's another girl back from when I used to hold a 'meditation circle' (well, you have to call these things something don't you) in my living room and had four gorgeous Essex girls coming knocking on my door at 11 o'clock every Wednesday morning. This one girl, the most talented (and I'm not talking exclusively ability to get in touch with her Owl totem animal here, she was a sexy little minx), was slightly freaked out after one of these sitting-in-a-circle things. She stayed back after the others had left to chat a while and then told me that she had been looking at me in the circle and that I had just disappeared right in front of her eyes. I'd been looking at her and I think I recognised the moment it must have happened, she had what looked to me like an orgasmic kundalini shiver comb through her body. Quite a turn-on.

I bit my lip and said:

'Oh yeah, that happens sometimes. Disappearing, yeah…'

When people look up to you as a master of the esoteric and hang onto your every word as a gobbit of wisdom you can't be fazed by the old disappearing malarkey. She's probably still thinking about it. One day she'll realise, like Rikki, that, hang about, no, that doesn't happen sometimes. That almost never happens.

I dunno how I have this effect on women.